Notes Crack
by bendercat
Summary: The notes my friend and I pass to each other. Includes characters from just about all the animes listed on my page, but mainly Shugo Chara! XD Read at own risk! Rated T for language.
1. Part 1

**Bender: Well since I got **_**extremely **_**disturbed from reading this one fanfic, no I won't tell you which one cause I'm afraid of losing any respect I have from you guys. -_- Oh, but I'll give you a hint. It made me want to kill Ikuto. Yep. Not Tadase. Ikuto. I've even started calling Tadase by his real name. Don't worry, I'm not turnign Tadamu, I still **_**love**_** Amuto. ^_^ Now for my short crack series!**

**Amu: What's it about?**

**Bender: The notes my manag/anime obsessed friend and I share. Check out her profile cause I've read some stuff she's written and it's awesome! **.net/u/2121227/ **Oh but don't listen to her! I AM NOT A RAPIST! MY MIND IS STILL SLIGHTLY INNOCENT!!!**

**Ikuto: -bursts out laughing- This coming from the person that says they have sex hair and swears like a freakin sailor!**

**Bender: -_- -Ikuto still making fun of me in the background- Anyway, please also keep in mind that we seriosuly did write these notes in class XD Pray we don't get caught please!! XD Oh and I'll be bleeping out some names for my own sanity.**

Chaiu: -censor- is annoying.

WRITE!!!

Me: He's VERY annoying.

Chaiu: Zu like v -beep-

Me: Shuddap!

Chaiu: Zu like him!

Me: Point?

Chaiu: Zu want his babies! (Wtf right?)

Me: -death glare- I'll kill you in your sleep

Chaiu: -smiles deviosuly- You know you want them! You want to cuddle with him alll niiight looooong.

Me: ...No comment

Chaiu: You love him soo much -smiles-

Me: -holds up pencil evilly- Shuddap!

Chaiu: No -puts up shield- You agree with him. LOVE

Me: ...Shut the ef up...

Chaiu: No

Me: -_-"

Chaiu: -^w^- You gonna rape him?

Me: WTF!?

Chaiu: You gonna?

Me: WTF!? NO!!!

Chaiu: Aka, yes...

Me: Nope

Chaiu: Yep

Me: Nooooo

Chaiu: Yesssss

Me: -whacks in head with baseball bat- (I really did write it jsut like that XD)

Chaiu: TT^TT You wanna rape him you just don wanna admit it

Me: -_-" I hate you. And for the last time NO!

Chaiu: TT^TT TTvTT Yes you do

Me: No I DON'T!!! And stop giving me sex hair!!!

Chaiu: Sex? Like what you wish with...

Me: Damn you and your dirty mind!

Chaiu: ...Ikuto (Ikuto: What!? Bender: What? She seriously wrote that!)

Me: Woot!

Chaiu: What you want with Ikuto is sex...

Me: Pfft! What!? No! Well maybe...

Chaiu: HaHa truth!! You gonna rape BOTH of them!

Me: ...No comment -_-"  
Chaiu: So not rape Ikuto?

Me: ...Maybe...

Chaiu: No rape -beep-

Me: Shut up...

Chaiu: Is rape -beep-?

Me: I hate you so much right now -_-"

Chaiu: -^w^- You know you love me

Me: ^w^ Most of the time

Chaiu: -^w^- All the time!

Me: Nope. Most. XD

Chaiu: XoX -dies-

**Bender: I swear on my life that we seriously wrote that. And just so you know, censor and beep were two different people.**

**Ikuto: Why was I involved in this!?**

**Bender: -shrug- She's the one that wrote your name. And even if people don't like this I'll be uploading every new thing of notes we write. ^_^**


	2. Part 2

**Bender: Part 2!!!**

Chaiu: Hezo

Me: Yo

Chaiu: Zu fail

Me: Mean

Chaiu: You want to rape -beep-

Me: I hate you .

Chaiu: No ya don't IKUTO IES MINE!

Me: ...But you like Kukai

Chaiu: ... ... THEY'RE BOTH MINE!

Me: Screw you! I saw them all first! Mwuahaha! :D

Chaiu: L is mine bisch... Lawliet!

Me: Nope. Mine.

Chaiu: I saw him last year way before you. =Mine =_=

Me: Don't care.

Chaiu: Mello and Mat are mine

Me: Okay. Then L and Light are mine

Chaiu: No just Light. Lights gay anyway. I ZUV RYUK!!

Me: I know! He be ashome! :D

Chaiu: Chaiu eats apples like Ryuk!

Me: ...Okay? (I forget that he was a character she drew XD)

Chaiu: Is it .org or .net or .com for fanfic?

Me: .net

Chaiu: Immuna rape Ikuto and luv Yoru alll daayy -=w=-

Me: No... -sigh- Ikuto is Amu's... .

Chaiu: I shot Amu last night and stole Ikuto

Me: O_O WTF!?

Chaiu: He is tied up in ma closet

Me: D: WTF!?

Chaiu: I'll share in due time. I stole Lawliet again.

Me: ...Who?

Chaiu: L!! YOU CALL YOURSELF A FAN!!?

Me: (She told me part of the ending for Death Note) I officially hate you now .

Chaiu: Don't worry he don't die anytime soon.

Me: Yay! :D Don't tell me how he died .

Chaiu: We watched him die on adultswim. We cried.

Me: That's effed up!!!

Chaiu: 0^0" What us crying or watching that episode?

Me: That he actually died!

Chaiu: I know...Light dies too. So does Mello, Mat, Light's dad, a lot of people die even Mikami. You should look up Sakujo techno remix on youtube

Me: STOP RUINING IT FOR ME!! KEEP IT UP AND I'LL RUIN SHUGO CHARA!!!

Chaiu: You already told me the end...what else is there to ruin...Plus I won't tell you how they died...Remember! Look up Sakujo techno remix on youtube when you get home little rapist. -=w=-

Me: Trust me, there's A LOT to still ruin! (I was kinda ignoring what else she was writing)

Chaiu: What like you raping -beep-? or you raping Light or Ikuto? RAPE

Me: All of the above baby! Woot!

Chaiu: RAPIST! WOOT! -rapes Kukai-

ME: Nooo! Kukai has lost his innocence . ...Do you think Ikuto has lost his innocence? -Besides from you!

Chaiu: As in their virginities? No...to catty. Maybe eventually, but currently no...unless he had sex with Utau

Me: O_O -goes off in emo corner- I feel disturbed -_- OMG! She probably raped him in his sleep! D:

Chaiu: 0^0 OMG SHE SO DID

Me: Btw, don't ever call him Iku O_O

Chaiu: Iku! Iku!

Me: Pervert! XD


	3. Part 3

****

Bender: I'm suprised people actually read this, let alone reviewed XD Oh! And Sypmho, no worries ^_^ I'm not mad at Ikuto anymore ^_^ Now then! For my explanations!!!

-beep- = the guy I have a crush on

--censored-- = a different censored from the first chappie, and the guy my friend likes :D and yes, his nickname shall be changed too!!! Mwuahaha! :D

Mr. B = teacher

Mrs. A = different teacher

B = some random girl that sat down next to me

Bender: Now we shall begin!

Chaiu: This morning I heard a teacher tell Mr. B she was horny...her name was Mrs. A in the room next to him...(A/N: Just so you know, both of those teachers are like _really _old XD)

Me: O_O I saw Mrs. A at Wal-Mart...my mom wouldn't let me throw an egg at her though :'( (A/N: I had one out and everything! ...And no I'm not joking XD)

Chaiu: I so would! Without telling my mom. I want to! Did you know, I don't know...Oh yeah I remember! Did you know a king died giving birth to a food baby on the toilet...ew...

Me: What...the...ef...I need to take that book away from you...-_-" (A/N: The book is called "Well Duh!")

Chaiu: No! You need to read it...B?...

Me: I have absolutely no idea...

Chaiu: Duck and cover they're throwing things my miny Rapist is under fire oh noez! (A/N: Just gotta love my new nickname -_-")

Me: Stop calling me that!

Chaiu: Miny Wapist! I zuv yewwww!

Me: ...No comment...

Chaiu: -O^O- Joey? (A/N: First of all, way too many authors notes -_-, but we were reading our short stories out loud so...yeah..akward XD)

Me: I don't know -shrug-

Chaiu: EPIC FAIL!!! zu fail epically

Me: I was trying to think of a name that no one at this school had.

Chaiu: You wanted to use -beep-

Me: Did not! The toast is dead dude! I don't wanna kill him! (A/N: The short story was supposed to be based off a picture with toasts' smiley faces...)

Chaiu: You'd rather rape him

Me: -whacks repeatedly with toast holding a stick- (A/N: ...I'll try to find the picture -_-)

Chaiu: -smiles- Zu can't deny how bad you wanna fuck him. Sorry contents are not for people under 10 years of age

Me: -dies-

Chaiu: Nuuu... -stabs with stick-

Me: -foot twicthes-

Chaiu: -jab jab- Wake up failure

Me: -head lifts up- Don't wanna -dies again- -head back up- And I'm not a failure!!!

Chaiu: O^O" -jabs harder- Pwease -^w^- -stick breaks- TT^TT Nuu stick -curls up in emo corner- Stick... -cries-

Me: Mwuahaha! :D -steps on broken stick- Now STAY in your emo corner! :D

Chaiu: TToTT -cries harder- TTwTT -stands up. tackles. eats your face then brains- Mwuahaha! Brains

Me: O_O HOLY CRAP!!!

Chaiu: Onomnomom! -eats your brains-

Me: -replaces self with Kukai-

Chaiu: -begins to kiss Kukai- -=w=- -tackles Ikuto. eats his brains-

Me: -saves Ikuto- Mine!

Chaiu: -eats on your brains again- BRAINS

Me: You fail -_-"

Chaiu: ...do not OMG Today is the first day I didn't see Muffin -blush- UGH!

Me: ...Muffin? Wtf?

Chaiu: --censored-- You know. I pointed him out that day, popular kid

Me: Oh yeah! ...You call him Muffin? o_0

Chaiu: Everyone does -looks down- the bad part is I love muffins, even before I met him

Me: -laughing like crazy- Now you can't make fun of me for liking -beep-!

Chaiu: -growls at you- But I can -smirks- HOLD IT AGAINST YOU!!!

Me: Then I can use --censored-- against you -^w^-

Chaiu: O^O -stuck in epic fail face mode- ERROR ERROR ERROR ERROR

****

Bender: Yes she seriously wrote that error part XD

Ikuto: ...

Bender: What?

Ikuto: Work on "Juliet and Ikuto" already dammit!

Bender: B-b-but-!

Ikuto: No buts!


	4. Part 4

****

Bender: ...No comment on these -_- Only that my friend's names will not be changed and the guy I like is still -beep- or as my friend called him, Mr. Rootbeer...don't ask -_-"

Chaiu: So now your emo corner is well too emo for you?

Me: Yep

Chaiu: Is there a killer teddy bear in there?

Me: ...Yes. Yes there is. There's a killer teddy bear named Chaiu XD

Chaiu: *insert evil grin here* I KILL YOU

Me: Told ya so! (That there was an evil teddy trying to eat me named Chaiu...)

****

--Class talking-- (Kinda important so you know what's going on...)

Chaiu: What happened with that loud mouth bitch, what'd she say?

Me: She made some comment about Holly...

Chaiu: Emos?

Me: -shrug- Tiny memory...-_-

Chaiu: Probably, she's a total bitch. I hate jocks so much...she brings bad names to bi's.....

Me: I know...kinda o_0

Chaiu: Don't worry. Oh! I adopted you! Your new name is Chi! Oh also you're now a french/british princess -heart- I'm daddy nimber one, Prince Riva.

Me: Yay! I like my new name! :D

Chaiu: Good! You live in frnace with me, in our castle. Thoguh your other father is Prince Hanae lives in Great Britian in his castle with Jackie and Daphne

Me: I must now throw snails at people! Mwuahaha! :D

Chaiu: Escargo! Would you like some?

Me: No...gross O_O

Chaiu: Hehehehehehehe...Would you like some Rocky Mountain oysters?

Me: France has gross food :P

Chaiu: Not always...If you would like I can get Mr. Rootbeer to paint your room Princess Chi...

Me: -^w^- M'Kay!

Chaiu: And you can watch him bend and stretch all ways to make sure your room is hot -winks- 0u^

Me: -blush- -nosebleed- -dies-

Chaiu: -smiles- And when he passes out from heatstroke you can rape him

Me: -whacks in back of the head-

Chaiu: -smiles- So, yeah?

Me: No!

Chaiu: You love him. Say it.

Me: Nope. Not gonna say it.

Chaiu: Just say it, it's okay.

Me: Never gonna happen

Chaiu: It's okay, say it now!

Me: Nope.

Chaiu: Then kiss him. Get up and do it now.

Me: WTF!? NO!!!

Chaiu: Yes!

Me: No!

Chaiu: fine then...Hug me bitch...

Me: What...? -_-" (She has really messy hand-writing)

Chaiu: Hug me bisch.

****

--Class talking--

Chaiu: Theres P or N hidden in my stepdad's closet, and a dildo in my mom's.

Me: 0_0 -deeply disturbed-

Chaiu: I know....I found them looking for x-mas presents 3 yrs ago...I had nightmares for the next 3 years...You still wanna rape Mr. Rootbeer

Me: NO!! (I never have!!!)

Chaiu: Yes, you still do

Me: No. I. Do. Not!!!

Chaiu: Ikuto-kun, Kyo-kun, Tamaki-kun, Allen-kun, -beep--kun, Chika-kun, Mori-kun, L-kun, Light-kun, Eichi-kun, Takuto-kun, ....Tadase-kun, Hitachinn-kuns, Hunny-kun, a lot of kuns...Hatsu = mine.

Me: Hatsu can be yours...but you share the others!!! ...Kukai is mine!

Chaiu: GRAAAH! Mine, plus all those up there are the ones you wanna rape - -Hatsu-kun of course-

Me: ...Yeah pretty much...EXCEPT FOR -BEEP--KUN!!! (I seriosuly had just then realized it XD)

Chaiu: Too late, you know you want to.

****

--Class talking-- --Beep reading chapter from book out-loud--

Chaiu: How adorable, you listen to him perfectly, finger pressed to lips, eyes following his every movement! ADORABLE!!

Me: (He was reading out-loud and we were _supposed _to listen!) I FREAKIN HATE YOU!!!

Chaiu: It's sooo true, how....CUTE! -0w0-

Me: -_-"

Chaiu: You're still doing it ya know -heart-

****

--2 minutes laster--

Chaiu: Still doing it


End file.
